Saturday, October 09, 2004

Ryan Assaults Emo-Fag With Tater-Tot

Alrighty, I'm back. This is the "Ryan assaults emo-fag with a tater-tot" story I promised in my previous post. This little tale begins at lunch time. Leafblower, Ryan and I are sitting at our little area with a few other schmucks. Leaf and I notice that Ryan is in a bit of a testy mood. We can tell because he's wearing a depressed scowl on his face and he's not entertaining us. He was just sitting there munching on pop-tarts and shit. Noticing his odd behavior, Leaf and I decide it's best to leave him alone and not barrage his fat ass with insults such as: bitch-tits, Mama Cass, doughboy and a few others. So, lunch is coming to a close, seemingly without incident. Right as the bell is about to ring, some stupid fuck chucks a tater-tot at Ryan hitting him right above his left eye. It explodes all in his hair and eyebrows. Ryan fucking freaked. He grabbed one of Leaf's discarded tater tots, and ran over to the closest fucker in his radius. It just so happens that the person who caught Ryan's insane misdirected anger was a frail, little emo-kid.

You know the type, those trendy thick rimmed black glasses, a Dashboard Confessional t-shirt on, really thin. Ryan's face turns fire red as he storms over to this kid. With the tater-tot clenched in his fist, Ryan starts beating the shit out of this kids head. Emo-fag just stood there and took it. He had no idea what to think. He was completely stunned and unable to move. His eyes welled up with tears, and he simply said, in a faggish voice, "I didn't throw the tater-tot." At this point I'm in awe, I had no idea what to think. Then, Leaf and I do what we always do in those kind of situations. We laughed our fucking asses off. I caught up to Ryan after our next class after he'd cooled off a bit. I asked him why he assaulted emo-fag. I informed Ryan that emo-fag indeed, did not throw the tater-tot at him. He simply said, "Oh well, I hated that fag anyway."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! The best story yet.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Last_Serenade said...


5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:04 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home