Monday, November 29, 2004

Diljner Almost Throws Down With Immigrant

This little story starts off about a week ago. I'm sitting in the office, it's 11:30, almost time for my lunch break. When 12:00 rolls around, I'm gone. Now, I live right down the street from where I work, so today I decide to walk home for lunch instead of drive; I should also mention that I live/work in a new homes construction zone, so there are cars parked everywhere. So I'm walking down the car-clogged street when I notice a very shitty beat up little vehicle. I notice that it had some pretty rims. Upon closer inspection I notice that not only are they not rims, they're hubcaps, shiny, plastic hubcaps. And not only are they hubcaps... But they're 'spinner' hubcaps, you know, the kind you can get at Pep-Boy's for like 5 bucks? Anywho, I look around to make sure that the owner of the vehicle is nowhere around, the coast seems clear. So I start spinning the rear left hubcap. I'm laughing my ass off simply because this is the most Julio'd out car I've ever seen [Thanks for the word 'Julio' Leaf]. As I've about had my feel of dicking around with this guys car, the unthinkable happens, the whole fucking hubcap falls off. I jump back and I'm a bit scared. Somewhere, I hear this loud scream, like, "AAeeeeeyaaa!" All of a sudden this mexican guy, who I assumed was the owner of the vehicle runs at me screaming obscenities in Spanish. I'm like, "Guy, I don't understand you." Then the fucker pushes me... hard. That fucking did it. I was in mid-swing when two of his friends run up and grab us and separate before we fucker each other up. He was still trying to swing at me and break free of his friend's grip. Accepting that he was restrained, he fell back on his only other option... The motherfucker reared back... and spit a fucking loogie right on my hand. There we both go again, trying to break free of our restrainers, but to no avail. Another guy came and helped Asshole's friend get him out of there; they put him in a different car and drove off. I'd assume they went and had lunch... bastards. Anywho, Asshole's friend that was restraining me took me off to the side and explained to me that the guy who spit on me was his brother in law. Apparently Mr. Mad Spitter had been going through a rough time lately. The police had just raided his house for drugs the previous night and fucking arrested his girlfriend. So pretty much the hubcap incident was just the icing on the cake for him. I departed and finally made my way home. I sat down to some nice Mac'n'Cheese and watched judge Maybelline Ephrem hand people their asses.

A very memorable day indeed.


Blogger Ms. Sarcasm said...

Hey sweetheart!

Wow... you never gave it in that great a detail when you told me you got spit on. That sucks! :-(

Did they ever put the hubcap back on? Do those guys live there or were they just visiting...?

11:36 AM  
Blogger Ms. Sarcasm said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:36 AM  
Blogger mexicanablanca said...

my dad's side of the family use "wetback'd" and "cheddar'd" i like mexicans... they're like cocroaches. you kinda have to live around them and pretend they're not really there...

10:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

exTREMO treat DaN better than I did. I'm sure you already know but he's an awesome guy and doesn't deserve to be hurt anymore than he already has. Goodluck to you guys.

Love Always,

11:59 PM  
Blogger koreandiva said...

that is so damn funny! the little things that happen.. and those stupid spinner hubs .. i laugh everytime i see one down the street.. it's like one or two never move.. all the rest are on spin cycle!

better luck today.. and try to keep your hands in your pockets.. maybe then you won't have mr mad spitting mex come running at you!

11:23 AM  
Blogger BloodDrain said...

Hahaha...funny shit but sad, sorry I didn't comment earlier Joshumz! I still heart you though...

10:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

be careful not to ruin his hubcaps next time, I bet he spend his whole life savings on them...


1:53 AM  

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