Saturday, November 20, 2004

Diljner Cock-block's The Leafblower

Ah, another story from Diljner. I know, I know, posts from me have been few and far between lately but I've been pretty busy. Now on to my tale...

The following events take place on "The Cruise". Leafblower, Arrhythmia and I are pretty jazzed about this certain night. It's the second night of the cruise and we're all supposed to dress up in our finest attire and attend dinner in the 'Four Winds' dining hall. So, after spending a fucking hour trying to teach Leaf how to tie his tie [Unsuccessfully], we're ready to head down. After a race down 6 flights of stairs, we arrive at the dining room and there is this fucking Jenkin's looking butler-guy that tells us we have to wait. To our right is a little library with a few computers and some ports where you can get some internet access. We decide to hang out in there, being the geeks we are, and wait until the hall opens. People started lining up outside. The line started getting really long, but we were in no hurry. About 10 minutes of sitting around bullshitting, and insulting eachother, two VERY attractive members of the opposite sex walk into the library [This is before I met Sarcasm by the way]. They totally looked like porn stars.

Leaf isn't the most outgoing guy, but when these chicks walked in he was fucking on it. Arrhythmia and I were laughing because we knew that he was going to try and run some game on them. They sit down at the opposite end of the library and are looking at us, whispering and giggling a bit. Leaf gets up and strolls over to where they're sitting and takes the couch right next to theirs. He starts off with a little small talk... Asks their names, age, stuff like that. He's making them laugh and they're totally fucking loving him. Arrhythmia and I then go over while he's talking to them. He gives us a look like 'Go the fuck away'. So, what do we do? We fucking sit down right with them and get up in their conversation. [Diljner + Arrhythmia = Uber-pricks]

Leaf tries his damndest to keep up the charm, but he's very clearly nervous now. He knows we're going to fuck this up for him somehow. He continues right along, without a hitch for the next few minutes. They're still loving him. Then, the inevitable happens... [Keep in mind that we're all in the middle of the fucking ocean] Here's our conversation...

Leaf "So, are you ladies from around here?"
[As soon as those words came out of his mouth he knew it was all over.]
Me "The OCEAN?!?"
Girls [Laughing their asses off]
Arrhythmia [Laughing his ass off]
Me [Laughing my ass off]
Leaf "Fuck you guys, they know what I meant! I meant the SOUTH!"

Needless to say, the ladies lost interest in the Leafman. When it was time to enter the hall, they just kind of left without a good-bye. This is probably the only time Leaf has been truly pissed off at me to the point of hatred. But what the hell? Like he was gonna score [Wink Wink]. To this day, when we bring up the story of the aformentioned cock-block, Leaf promptly gives me a "FUCK YOU COCKBLOCKER!"



4 Comments:

Blogger BloodDrain said...

Hahaha...you guys ruined his chance with the ladies. lol...meanies. Poor Leaf.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Arrhythmia said...

Yea, I think considering we both cock-blocked the douche bag on the cruise that we should be smited for our actions, but look at us now, we're still the same assholes who are loved by the masses and he still hasn't found a girlfriend. He needs to step it up, he's a good looking guy, funny, etc, he could do it in two snaps of a prep's neck. All he needs to do is find a girl, date her, THEN introduce her to us whenever she knows him enough not to dump him for shit we tell her later on :D :D :D :D :D :D

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol.....you guys are assholes.....hahahaha....i hope you guys never do that to me :-/....but any way....write more post's

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mexicanablanca a.k.a.:yo masta

ok i had this huge freakin post all ready to go and i pressed the wrong button *poof* it went bye bye... so to sum it up

i'm driving the bondagefest '04 bus; brisa is bringing the supplies; and the boys are bringing the cameras...

woot woot

i wanna see spongebob really really really really really bad...

11:06 PM  

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