Sunday, September 26, 2004

The Lesbian Crisis

As it stands, this is officially the first post for this blog, so I'll start you beautiful people off with a teaser as well as a pleaser.

Now, me and my buds live in Bakersfield, California. In Bako, there is a little outdoor plaza called "The MarketPlace". We were sitting over by the Blockbuster, Starbucks, and some other food joints with a few of my friends when Leafblower notices two girls, who, in a rare moment of blissful beauty, were holding hands and making coo faces like they were about to pounce on each other and create some sort of lesbian porno.

[Side Note: They were both blonde]

After this defining moment, Leaf decides that when they leave the Mexican establishment they entered to buy food, that he was going to talk to them. Well, knowing me and Diljner, we egg his ass on as much as possible to do it. He seemed to lose his balls right after he stated his intentions.

Minutes went by, the lesbos got their food and went outside to eat and sat about two tables away from us. Leaf continued his bullshit by pussing out on his mission. This moved from something he would do to a complete dare. Dare or not, this fucker didn't seem like he was going to pull through for the 'ol team. I decided I didn't want to wait anymore and after saying "go talk to those lesbians" real loud, the situation seemed to get even more frustrating. He apparently thought they heard me say that cause they "looked toward us". Well, that's what he said at least. Moments later, I proceded with daring him.

Me "I dare you, no wait, I double dog dare you, eh, I'll TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!"
Leaf [Laughs his stupid laugh] "This isn't fuckin' A Christmas Story."
Me "Whatever, just go do it."

We exchanged a few more words, but nothing substantial enough to change the fact he was pussing out. By this point, he seemed sure that he lost his balls entirely...

Leaf "I think my balls have gone into my stomach and turned into ovaries..."

This made us all crack up and...Jesus, he admited to being a woman, what a fag. Cutting this down just a tad, Leaf finally got up to talk to the lesbos as they were throwing away their remains and leaving. This is what was said:

Leaf "You guys are hot!"
Lesbos "Thank you..."[awkward looks]
Leaf [Returns to table]
Me "Whadya say?!"
Leaf "You guys are hot."
[Diljner and I are cracking up]
Me "That's it?! That's all you said? You suck ass dude."
[This continues for a few more seconds, lesbos start to leave area]
Leaf "Bye!"
Lesbos "Bye..."[awkward looks, yet again]

The conversation after that seemed to go downhill. We just couldn't get over the sheer queerness of Leaf. He seriously didn't pull through as promised. Diljner went home and Leaf went home with me. Night ended and we all had our laughs.

Haha mother fuckers...

By the way, 20 minutes before the lesbos arrived, Leaf was rolling up his sleeves and tucking the bottom of his shirt in his collar with a pink comb stuck in his carpet-like hair. Now do you see why I question his sexuality sometimes? *sigh*


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to meet the lezboz.....they sound hot blonds :-D
anyway funny shit........

5:31 PM  

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