Saturday, October 02, 2004

Arrhythmia and Leafblower Discuss Possible Future

Now, most of you know who I am, despite my surname and all, so you all pretty much know how I am in person. If you don't, I shall describe the wonder that is me: I'm annoying, pretty hyper, very eccentric, overly sarcastic, very short [sometimes while answering], sometimes boring, always random, and yes, even pretty. Now that you know, you shall understand why the proceeding conversation ...well, happened.

I read earlier that day about how the sun was an impending time bomb and was going to blow up soon [5 million years or so, which is complete bullshit...fuck you science], and when I saw Leaf, I decided that I'd ask him a few questions about his day and then go right into the difficult [logical] questions about Mr. Sun.*

[*Side note: We've actually had this conversation about three times. Ah, the repetitive nature that is friendship]

Me [Asks Leaf bullshit life questions]
Leaf [Answers]
Me "Say, did you know the sun is going to explode in like 5 million years?"
Leaf "Really?"
Me "Well, lets say that you got cryogenically frozen for 4,999,999 years and when you finally woke up, you wanted to have sex, but everyone was a fly?"
Leaf [Insert beastiality comment]
Me [Makes reference to Leaf being afraid of bugs {flies}] "Hahaha, remember Jeff Goldblum, who played the fly?"
Leaf [Makes shivery/disgusted sound that we make when we're grossed out] "Yea..."
Me "Welllllllllll, what if you got cryogenically frozen for 4,999,999 years, but one hour after you got frozen, Jeff Goldblum came on TV, announced that he was a hermaphrodite, and used his super army to kill everyone in the world. Then, after all that, he kills his super army and then has sex with himself to create another Jeff Goldblum to infinately create a race of hermaphrodite Jeff Goldblums! And, when you woke up, you wanted to have sex, but there was no one around but Jeff Goldblum?"
Leaf [Makes reference to how much he hates Jeff Goldblum and starts acting like he's been diseased by a rabid monkey] "I don't want to talk about the future anymore! I won't be around anyway!!"

You see, we have many conversations like this that have yet to be documented. I'd include the joke that was said too, but I don't want to offend anyone of a different race/sex/or whoever is just a pussy. Screw political correctness, it really is one sided ...usually the minority side. Oh well, that's just my opinion.

[Side note: I just realized Leaf owes me around 300 dollars. Crap, I really need the money...]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahahaha...that was some funny shit. Tee-hee. Well I must go now...MAN! lol...I just thought of something stupid.
your pal,

6:00 PM  

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