Monday, October 04, 2004

Escar-shit!

Ah, the memories... Well, here I am about to venture back to the days of "the trip." You all remember the trip, don't you? Good, here is the faithful story of when Leafblower, Diljner, and myself went to eat a nice dinner with my parents at the Four Winds dining hall. This was the second night that dinner was being served in the hall [The first night we skipped out and had some good 'ol pizza and french fries, and, oh yea, ice cream]. The reason we decided not to skip out on dinner this night was because it was formal night. Diljner and I dressed in our finest, black buttondowns, black slacks, nice ties, the whole nine yards. Leaf, being himself, decides to take a different approach. Picture this, hes sitting there with a nice, black dress shirt, tie, but one thing is off...his pants are fuckin' khaki colored dickies and he's wearing his converse. Only he could pull that off at a formal dinner.

So, we finally sit at our table after several minutes of waiting in our 'dress', and we are accompanied by my parents with another gentleman and his two daughters [one was pretty hot too]. We start talking, I am made fun of by the two girl's father because I said "you guyses", well I guess 'I' made a good impression [har fuckin' har]. After this fiasco, we receive our bread and the guys engulf it like we're garbage trucks. We order our food [it just so happend to be seafood night]. I order lobster tail and such goodies, while everyone else orders there stuff. Leaf decides to order the escargot [pronounced 'es-car-go'] and seems pretty mellow about it. None of us really notice that he ordered the edible snails [he's afraid of bugs, remember] and finally, the food arrives. We start eating, Leaf eats the items that came with the snails before taking a plunge into them. I have already eaten my lobster when he gets to the nastiness. This conversation follows:

Leaf [Takes snail and puts in mouth]
Me [Looks curiously and contemplates situation]
Leaf [Chews and chews, about to swallow when...]
Me "Hey [Leaf], don't you know those are snails!?"
Leaf [Disgruntled/sickened look, he beings to cough and spits up the snail] "Wha, ahh, what!?"
Me and Diljner [Laugh our asses into paralysis]

My mother interjects about how he would have been fine with them and eaten them perfectly if I hadn't done that...bah forget that, where's the fun when he doesn't know?

Following this brief conversation, Leaf decides that the plate is too much for him and that it can't even sit in front of him. My dad greatfully takes it from him and eats those snails along with his own escargot plate. I believe this is the first time Diljner had seen Leaf react to a 'bug' like that; I'm not sure though. For the rest of the dinner period, Leaf just seemed plain upset, thinking about what he had done and almost done [eaten a snail]. I mean, I've eaten cow tongue, but for being so afraid of measily 'ol bugs, he sure got that sucker further in him than I ever would.


Short secondary story:

While at the mall with my bud Mechanism[we were tryin' to find him some long sleeve shirts], this was spouted out of my mouth...

Me "Let's go to Macys!" [Twirls {I fuckin' twirl it *sigh*}bag with newly purchased jacket] "This is so gay..."
Mechanism [Laughs at my unfortunately queer statement]

That whole thing that I said was a complete mistake...

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

funny crap man nice you should have waited after he ate it then he runs to the bath room and barfs every were insted on spiting it back out but o well.....nice....chopsticks out ;-)

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Leaf-Blower says, "You Dumb asses (is Dumb Ass On eword or two?) Both of those Chicks were hot! Get your Fuckin' FACTS straight."

10:42 PM  
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6:17 AM  

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