Monday, November 01, 2004

Computer Owns Console; Leaf Throws Fit

Trip time, yet again; this time: BestBuy - Day of the Liar. You should all remember this, when Liar got dropped off at his psychiatrist appointment, Leaf, Diljner, and I took a trip to BestBuy so I could buy a copy of Dawn of the Dead [which I have yet to watch.....*grrr*] and to get one for Liar, since, he annoyed us into getting it. I was stoked [forgive me] to get it, seeing that it's my favorite movie this year. So after this we travel around a bit, looking at music, going to software, then to the laptops. Well, while looking at the laptops, Leaf spots the "Sonic the Hedgehog Compelation" or whatever. It basically has 7 of the past Sonic games on it, Sonic 1, 2, 3, Sonic and Knuckles, Sonic Spinball, etc. So he has this genius plan, since the game is 'relatively' cheap, ....he can use the left over money that Liar gave him to purchase DotD to buy the game! Oh shit, now we gotta make up a lie for him to tell Liar so he can use it, we do that later on though.

Anyway, after getting the game, Diljner and Leaf spot the Xbox arena area, by the games, freak out, and run over to it. The game they pick doesn't seem to work, so I plop down in the seat next to them and try playing the basketball game. I get Leaf to join me, but the remote he gets seems to be just as fucked up as the one from the other game. So, I play by myself for like three minutes, and I get my shit ruined by the computer. I am sorta shamed, but since I'm not a console gamer, I don't really care. After this, we're just sitting and I see a BestBuy guy and tell him that the controller is messed up. After 5 minutes of getting a battery and screwing with the Xbox, he gets it to work. Let's hear it for asking for help! So, Leaf and I get on seperate teams and the 'supposed' slaughter of my team is about to occur. You can tell Leaf is a little more confident in his playing than I am, so the game starts off a tad shitty for me. He slams the ball on his first shot...what the hell man, I don't even know how to pass...

Me "[Leaf], how'd you do that?"
Leaf "I don't know..."
Me "No really, how'd you do it?"
Leaf "I just pressed a button."
Me "Shit, how do you pass!!" [shoots ball on accident from half court *slaps forehead*]
Leaf and Dilj [Laugh]
Me "How do you pass!"
Leaf "I don't know, I don't have an Xbox, try A."
Diljner "It's pretty damn close to a GameCube."
Leaf "NO IT'S NOT!"
Diljner "Whatever..."
Me "Oh, that's how you pass... How do you slam again?"
Leaf "I don't know."
Me "Fine."

We play for one quarter [I set it to 5 minutes for that particular game]. And during the beginning, like I said, it looked like Leaf was going to pwn me. Hehehe, nope, his ass got smashed. I start busting out my mad gaming skillz, because apparently, I'm so good, I can rape on console too. I miss a few shots, get the ball stolen from me a few times, but in the end the score ended up being like: Me: 23 Leaf: 12. Can you say raped without lubricant? I know I can...several times. When the end of the quarter came...oh shit, look out!

Diljner "HAHAHAHAHA," [I'm laughing too] " just lost to a computer gamer [Leaf]!"
Me [Still laughing my ass off with Diljner]
Diljner "He NEVER plays console games, and you lost to him!! HAHAHAHAHA!!"
Leaf "I don't play Xbox asshole. Plus, he got to play for 5 minutes before me."
Me "Wha?! That doesn't mean shit man, I never play these stupid things."
Leaf "Doesn't fucking matter! You still played before me!"

By this time, we're making a small scene, not that anyone was looking, or really even cared, but we started getting loud.

Leaf [Gets up with with real stern face and starts like freaking out in the middle of BestBuy, sorta flailing his arms around everywhere like he's about to bring the beatdown to me and/or Diljner] "Fuck you guys!"

He then tries to walk away from us, we are still cracking up as this happens...

Diljner "Haha, you still lost to a computer gamer..."

Alright, alright, let me explain the significance of this event in more detail. I've already explained that Diljner and I are computer gamers to the extreme. We shun consoles and most console gamers. We just find them to be pieces of shit that are far below computer game standards. We never play consoles, nor will we ever, unless it's for the sake of Halo 2 or something to that nature. We play games like: Counter-Strike 1.6, Counter-Strike: Source, Battlefield 1942, Call of Duty, War Hammer 40,000 - Dawn of War, games from the Star Wars Series, etc. Yes, we are computer nerds, but if you base everything else you know about us, our awesomeness cancels that shit out. Now, Leaf is a switch hitter in the gaming world. He plays computer games with us [rarely], but also plays games like Metroid Prime at home on his GameCube. He knows how to play console a lot better than I do, this is why we ragged his ass about the humiliating defeat casted down upon him by yours truly. It was a beautiful sight indeed.

After the scene we caused, things died down and we went to the registers to buy our stuff. Liar gave Leaf somewhere around 30 dollars to buy DotD for him and the movie ended up being like 15 bucks on some sale. Leaf took this to his advantage and only ended up spending like 8 dollars of his own money to get the game. Yes, we're all going to burn in hell....naw, we rock too much. This was our excuse to Liar though:

Us "Uh yea dude, the movie was like 25 bucks..."
Liar "Thanks guys!"
Us "....uh...yea..."

Then we went on to suffer a few more hours with Liar, but you'll read about that in "The Day A Bunch of Shit Happened [Part 2]".


Anonymous Anonymous said...

awww you lied to a little boy! that's sad yet amusing... hmm... have you ever lied to me dan? eh eh eh???!!! ok i really don't care heh... umm imma steal your dawn of the dead because i miss my movies bautch! haha jk... i feel sick... but we get paid today so everything's gonna be all right! woot woot for money...

3:12 PM  
Blogger Last_Serenade said...

u guys are such idiots...but i suppose your "awesomeness cancels that shit out" haha. keep up the good work, u still have me amused. ~J

6:37 PM  

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